testimony

My little message this week is about the power of a testimony.. I had a really good week in the fact that my testimony was continually challenged. Not even by other people most of the time. By myself. I think there comes the point in every persons life (or many) when they take a step back and say, Is this what I believe? Is it true? Why should I believe it? Why is this any different?   

I was sitting at my desk on Thursday, so preoccupied with frustration with myself because I was questioning my own beliefs. I am a missionary.. this is not supposed to be happening. Missionaries are supposed to have perfect testimonies. People who have been members their whole lives are supposed to have perfect testimonies. I am supposed to have a perfect testimony! But there I was, thinking, Is this church true? Was Joseph Smith a Prophet? Is Thomas S. Monson a Prophet today? The power of the adversary is incredible. Especially in these little weak moments he wants to attack us, and to make us think that we are crazy. Why in the world would you believe something like that?

The solution to this problem is not to think about what we don't know. Its to hold on to what we DO know. Elder Holland gave the talk last conference called "Lord, I believe" and this is exactly what he talks about. A little boy told him, I cannot tell you I know that this church is true, but I believe that it is. He just wrapped the boy in his arms and said, "I told him with all the fervor of my soul that belief is a precious word, an even more precious act.." Even though I could not say in that moment that I knew it was true, I bleived that it was.So where to from there? I decided to take my own advice that I gave to one of the members of our little branch when she was in the same problem as I was the week before. I told her that to have questions is a good thing. It means we have room to grow! Test them. Try them. And the outcome will always be the same.

So I did just that. I tested them, I read. I tried them. I read even more. and then I knelt down and pleaded to my Father in Heaven to know if this church is true. How can I be on the other side of the nation preaching to complete strangers what I wasn't even completely sure of. I can tell you right now, I am sure. This is the true church, restored on the earth again through the prophet Joseph Smith. The Lords promise was fulfilled when He said, Ask, and it will be given you. I will forever be grateful for the power of prayer. For the answer that I received. My purpose in this is not to expose my weaknesses to all of my family and friends.. But that maybe someone, somewhere, can find an answer to their own question. Is this church true? Please, if you feel that your testimony is weak, lean on mine!  And search of the answer. It is there we just have to ask for it! HE is there, we just have to ask for Him.

I want you to know that I know that this church is true. That no matter what level we think our testimony is it, it can always grow. Kneel down tonight and ask your Father in Heaven if this is true. He will give you an answer and you will be stronger then, than you were before.

 

I am grateful for the mission. For trials. For growth. This Gospel is centered on bringing others closer to Christ. Don't ever let Satan convince you that you aren't part of the "others." Onward and Upward! The church is true!

 

Hermana Schwendiman

 

Ps. I'm getting transferred!